Incident #1: The Guinness-ident

Scenario:
It was a typical Wednesday evening at Pike Place Market. The May air was colder than it should have been but less cold than it could have been, so I complained about it less than I could have, but more than I should have. We ducked in to an unnamed* bar for sustenance after a long days work, but little did we know what events would transpire within its walls. Important events. That's what.

We chose a table in the back of the establishment because it had more cushions and pillows than all the other tables. Everything seemed fine in the beginning: I ordered a vodka tonic while my accomplice**, with his or her impeccable taste, decided to order a Guinness. And that's when the table turned... because I used it for leverage as I shifted around my comfy cushions. After I repositioned the table, the metaphorical tables turned...

The Incident: 
The waitress returned with our beverages and sat my vodka tonic neatly in front of me. "How delightful!" I  would have thought, had I been raised with manners. Instead I slid it in front of me and squeezed the lime 25% into the glass and 75% everywhere else. I digress... As she went to set down the Guinness, the frothy Irish goodness leapt out of the glass and onto the table. Everything would have been different had she not uttered the next phrase:  "Oh my goodness!"

The Fallout
"Oh my Guinness?" my accomplice exclaims. The waitress gives a look of confusion. It was a joke so obvious, so terrible, that it could have saved the entire situation. Instead we were left in shocked disbelief as Guinness and rogue lime juice drifted across the table's surface. The evening was ruined.

TL:DR

 If someone spills a beer, especially if the beer in question is Guinness, say:

 "Oh my Guinness!" 

in place of "Oh my Goodness". 

You'll impress people with your wit.

Sincerely,
The Bad Joke Snobs

* I forgot the name.
** Aidan, who shall be referred to as "my accomplice" for privacy reasons.